


The Worst Camp Counselor

by Bunnywith



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 22:44:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/918887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunnywith/pseuds/Bunnywith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a prompt. "humanstuck where Equius gets a job at a summer camp because Aradia did (and he's trying to impress her) but ends up being like the worst (or best) camp counselor because he teaches the kids things like STRONG boxing and building robots that may or may not have the potential to take over the world. Aradia finds this hilarious."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Worst Camp Counselor

Tavros had just let it slip that Aradia would be working at a summer camp. Equius had ordered Tavros to give him the name of the camp. He didn’t want to spend three entire months away from her, and so he’d eagerly signed up to become a counselor as well. When asked if he had any experience with children, he had said he had a little sister who he watched. Nepeta was pretty much a little sister anyway, so that counted, right?

He had been unprepared for the pandemonium that was summer camp. Equius had arrived late for his very first day of work, the rest of the camp in full swing while he was left struggling with his bags in his car. Everywhere he went he heard children screaming. And every day for the next three months, that was all he would hear, except at night time when he would hear the abnormal buzzing of mutant bugs hunting for human blood and flesh to consume.

His bags dropped off at the counselor’s cabin, he reported to the head counselor.

“Wait here,” The woman rasped, taking her cigarette from between her lips to press the button for the intercom, which shrieked to life and announced over the entire camp area, “Aradia Megido, please report to the Head Counselor’s office. Your co-counselor has arrived. Finally.”

Aradia was his co-counselor? He could hardly contain his joy, and yet he tried to look surprised when he saw her come through the door, as though he was shocked to see her here.

“You’re my co-counselor? I didn’t know you liked kids. You seem more… Low key. This seems a bit raucous for you.” She was indeed surprised to see him.

“Oh, I… No, I like kids! Yeah!” Oh right, he didn’t like kids. Should’ve thought this through a bit more. Aradia laughed, seeming unconvinced.

“If you say so. Come on, I’ll introduce you to our campers.”

They were all loud. Very loud. They yelled their names and shoved each other and had mud-caked shoes, but realistically, he figured he needed to give up the hope that his shoes would escape this intact.

While their campers ran around and screamed, Aradia walked Equius through their scheduled activities. There were games and crafts like making friendship bracelets, lanyards, creating a bean bag toss, a nature scavenger hunt, and learning nature survival skills. Equius didn’t really know how to do any of these things and it must have shown on his face.

“Just follow my lead, okay? Try to think of some things you can teach them.”

He wasn’t very good at thinking up things to teach children. He was bad at the activities Aradia had thought up too. He couldn’t manage to evenly tie the little knots in the friendship bracelets, when he tried to throw the bean bags into the 100 point cup, he threw the bean bag straight into the woods and lost it. The kids decided that was worth at least 1000 points, however.

“You don’t actually like kids, do you?” They were in the head counselor’s office while the kids were having lunch. Equius had offered to fix the intercom to get rid of the shrill electric feedback every time there was an announcement and was in the process of doing so. He blushed a little, having been caught in his obvious lie.

“Not really, no.”

“Why are you here, then? Are you that hard up for cash? This job doesn’t even pay that well.” It was true they were basically earning slave wages.

Equius pressed the intercom button and spoke into it.

“Testing, testing.” He spoke softly into it. His voice echoed throughout the camp with no feedback. He flicked it off, satisfied he’d done well.

“…I came here because you were here.” He confessed. “Tavros mentioned you were going to spend the summer working at a camp. I made him tell me which one.”

“So you followed me here?”

“…I did.”

“That’s kinda creepy.”

“It is?” He was startled, and then he realized that yes, that was kind of creepy. He’d lied about his credentials, bullied the name of the summer camp out of her best friend, then applied to work at the same place just because she would be there too. He sighed, slumping into the head counselor’s seat, his head in his hands.

“It is, isn’t it. I didn’t mean to-”

“Didn’t mean to come across as creepy?

“Y-Yeah. If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll leave.”

“You don’t need to do that. It’s weird to get a job here because I did, yeah, but you haven’t done anything since then that freaks me out. Unless you’re recording me in secret?”

“I would never!” Equius looked like he might draw his very last breath out of shock.

“I believe you. And I have an idea for what you can teach to the kids.”

The following day Aradia rounded up the kids and dropped a box full of spare parts harvested from long-dead vehicles and equipment around the camp.

“Today, Counselor Equius is going to show you how to make robots. Then we’re going to fight them to the death, and the winner gets to be ruler of the world.”


End file.
